I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i would punch a child for taco bell
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
worst night to have a conscience
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
