i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
