Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
