Say something about gay babies.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize