sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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