I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
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