When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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