Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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