I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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