i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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