call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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