Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Randomize
