just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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