Apparently you make a good broom.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
