Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
