So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Actions speak louder than pants.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize