I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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