This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
