I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
