Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
