i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
