JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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