You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
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