i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
