Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
i dont even know how to be here
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
