And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
