I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
