So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize