I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
