I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
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