he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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