wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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