K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
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