The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize