Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
