even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
