when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Randomize