Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
