Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize