I heard we made out
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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