Say something about gay babies.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
