To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
