I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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