Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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