he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Pants are for mortals
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
