Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
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