Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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