Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
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