She said her name was "party"
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
