Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
