remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
