He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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