let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
