I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Randomize
