We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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