Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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