can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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