Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
