I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
