called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
