i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
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